3 Words All Children Need To Hear


Dear John,

Having spent almost 14 years teaching in classrooms and 16 years of tutoring, my mission in life is simple. Help young people to love who themselves and to do a job they love.

Along the way, I developed a system for performing well at school, which includes my 4 pillars for academic success: Motivation, organisation, responsibility and commitment.

I also taught students study smarter techniques, which allow them to learn more in less time, which also gives them the confidence that the time invested in studying would guarantee them results.

Additionally, students were also taught an exam process for zero stress so they could perform at their best. I thought this would be enough. I was wrong.

I hadn’t previously accounted for the number one roadblock why students don’t stay on this path. It is a lack of inner peace. Another name for it is emotional baggage.

I noticed students who had their buttons easily pushed or lack self-confidence rarely turned to education to help them feel better.

My 5 Keys To Inner Peace coaching system, teaches young people a step-by-step set of actions to get them back to the natural state of inner peace in which they arrived. 

I think you would agree 3-year-olds don’t appear to have any self-esteem issues. That is a foreign concept to them.

I only have to observe my four-year-old son Noah. Every day is a fun adventure. He never seems to be suffering from a self-esteem crisis. So what happens along the way to change that?

From a young age, we all have a moment when someone close to us, either a parent, sibling or family member, who doesn’t love us exactly the way we want to be loved.

As a young person, we don’t have the awareness to see the struggles this person is having individually, so we take it personally.

The years go by and the school report cards come home and many students are greeted with, “Look at this report card! What is wrong with you?” You start to think that maybe there is something wrong with you.

We discover the world of television and we are also subjected to commercials that, for decades, have been sending out these generic messages: Either you are broken and need fixing via their product or service; or do you feel like something is missing in life? 

What I have noticed is even if a child has unconditional love from one parent, if they are not getting it from both parents, the child still questions whether there is something wrong with them.

In what I have observed, more females seem to get love and affections from both parents. More fathers seem to be able to hug and show affection to their daughters more than they do with their sons.

Of course there are exceptions and I have met students who get the love and affection from their father but there is disconnection with their mother.

Students who feel one parent doesn’t love them the way they desire usually question if they are truly loveable. If the person meant to love me can’t show it the way that I want then maybe there is something wrong with me, is the general internal commentary.

When you teach young people what I call “reading the subtitles” which is all about seeing what lies behind the words, that most people are struggling with loving themselves and have their own challenges, young people begin to see their parents as human beings with challenges and stop taking it personally if a parent doesn’t show them the affection and attention they desire.

All children are a miracle. They started as a microscopic seed and flowered into an awesome creation. We are on a rock flying through space. Whilst the words “I love you” are nice, I believe the 3 words all children really want to hear are “You are enough”.

If a child feels that who they are is already enough, they stop seeking for validation from society, which leads to a settled mind, which in turn allows them to find their purpose in life sooner and sees life as a game and not something to fear.

My challenge to teachers and parents is this. Make it an intention to help young people to feel they are already enough for just being who they are. Everything else is a bonus. You are enough. So are they.